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May, 2008
It's been 10 years since hide's death. I wanted to show that even after 10 years he is not forgotten and still lives in the hearts of the people.
So I asked the visitors of this page to show or tell the world how hide has inspired them.... this is what they send:
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a click on the pictures opens the original size of it... |
tsukiko Black |
May second 1998 the day hide-sama died. I was six years
old. On that day hide-sama meant nothing to me in fact it would be two years
later almost to they day that I would first hear his name in passing conversation.
I have always been the person who once hears something, anything and knows
nothing about that subject mayhap that be a long dead playwright or a brand
new scent of air freshener, I have to know more. I have never been fond of
this part of my personality as I gain many useless facts, but I will never
be sorry that I looked up hide-sama.
As an eight year-old that never quite fit in anywhere due to the fact that
my family moved every year, hide-sama appealed to me for many reasons. But
mostly because he was a person who stood on his own
two feet.
He didn’t need anyone.
He wasn’t a person who needed another to hide behind the curtains when
he was on stage and dictate his movements to him. A person to tell him it
was okay to be in front next Toshi-sama or annoying Yoshiki-sama during the
lull in-between songs.
I thank him everyday somehow someway that he taught me it is okay to be
free.
Tsukiko |
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Jess (hideincarnate), USA |
When Katrin told me she was holding a ‘contest’ on
her page in commemoration of hide, I was excited. Of course I didn’t
know what to enter – it could be anything she said, as long as it
reflected how much hide meant to us. I decided something resembling an essay
would work best.
hide…has inspired me and changed me. I first discovered hide through
X Japan, back in 2000 or 2001. To be honest, hide got me into X Japan. At
an anime convention, I saw many people with these cute pink haired dolls
walking around. I asked one of them what show the doll was from and was
told he wasn’t an anime character – he was hide! Lead guitarist
of X Japan – or he was. After learning that hide, a dead rock star,
could have his own plush doll, I decided I had to learn more about X
Japan. My first purchases were the Final Legend photo book, On the Verge
of Destruction
VCDs, and of course, a hide plush doll.
click for the rest of the essay and a lot of pictures...
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Miho |
Hi-Ho!
I'm Miho, and hide means so, SO much to me.
^ I made my own hide plushie because I can't buy online :]
^ I draw him a lot as well :D
he is my biggest source of inspiration, and thanks to him, I'm still alive.
In the time I wanted to kill myself, hide was there to help me and he pulled
me trough. I'm going through a depression again, and it's because of hide
I still didn't end my life.
I love him SO damn much.
We'll never forget him :]
STAY fREE YOUR MISERY
~MIHO~ |

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Suzanne Dorfield (Australia) |
This is a piece I did for 2.5.08. I was very upset that it had been 10 years since everything happened and I really wanted to draw something angsty and miserable to express my own mood. However in the end, all I could come
up with was something bouncy and somewhat perverted... and I think that's how hide would prefer being remembered :3 |
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Anna Moric |
I've written an essay and a poem, and I've put together a video.
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Kagami |
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div s |
hide is a legend and will continue to be one in my heart.
I can't express very well what he means and how
he has inspired me. But when I listen to his music and
watch him performing, I truly feel happy, happy to
have known his music and him through his music. To
know how much he is loved by millions of people around
the globe, speaks in itself about the kind of man he
was and will be. hide will always be in my heart as a
legend, as the man who always has a goofy smile that
makes others smile in turn, as the man who makes
amazing music. Forever~

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Sophie |
I have some pics of a tattoo I got recently!
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Ami (17, Belgium) |
On May 2nd, my friends and I held a weekend in memory
of hide.
To make it extra special, we cosplayed hide as he looked during one or other
period. This photo is of my best friend and I. She is Saver Tiger hide and
I am early '90s hide. Because we looked rather odd in town during
the weekend, a television crew approached us. They were filming for
a show
where they asked random people on the street, why they deserved a bottle
of champagne. When we told them about the weekend and the hide memorial,
they thought that it was very interesting. They spent about two hours
filming us. The show will air sometime in June. For us, it really felt
as
if hide was watching us because we had tried contacting local media
to let
them know about this, but none of them had responded. It was really
special for us, that somehow we still managed to spread the message.
And
instead of it being local media, our story will be broadcasting on
Belgium's most watched channel! |
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Jessica (Canada) |
It was almost as if he'd reached out and said "You
can do it".
When I discovered hide, well, stumbled upon him, six years ago, somehow
I knew my world would be changed forever. Like many other fans at the
time, I was already bopping along to his songs cheerfully, he had already
reached my heart. When I decided to do more research I was shocked to
learn he had died prematurely, four years before I even knew his name.
Somehow, this really hurt, someone who had been so vibrant and full of
life was gone, snuffed out like a candle by the cruel wind.
'Hero' sounds like a strange word to use for someone that I've
never met before, but it's true. When I discovered him, I was going through
a really hard time. However, every time I turned on his music I couldn't
be sad anymore, I could just let myself go, and rest in hide's voice.
It was almost as if he'd reached out and said "You can do it".
The ability to make someone else forget about their woes is a very powerful
thing, and I'll never forget him for that. As time wore on, I did more
research and learned more about what an amazing person he was, and what
he did for people. All I remember thinking is "How amazing...I really
want to be like that".
hide was the reason I started playing guitar, and joined a punk
band. The band, which we named "Roulette" is on a hiatus right
now, all our members have day jobs and the such. However, hide gave me
the inspiration and the courage to go outside my comfort zone and learn
something new. Whenever I was stuck on writing a song, or playing guitar
and was feeling down, I would turn on his music: It was almost as if he'd
reached out and said "You can do it".
Now a days, I still listen to hide...But, I don't have to anymore,
because his music has already uplifted my life. I really am, truly, a
happier person now for having known his music, and, for lack of a better
word, his legacy.
Even though he's been gone for 10 years now...People still talk
about him like he never left.
We will never forget. |
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Vicky (USA) |
Where do I begin... I orginally saw hide while looking through some jrock pictures and forums about 3 years ago.
I was stunned by the pink hair, I thought it was just for one album release since most jrockers don't hold a style for too long, but was
amazed when I saw he was always that way. I was amazed by his style, and started listening to X Japan and then his solo music.
Soon after I spread the bands music to whoever I knew would listen. My mom grew to like the band as well.
I first went to Japan 2 summers ago, and while in Harajuku, I found a small jrock store that sold a good amount of hide items.
I bought a Rocket Dive plush, the goggles, X Japan cards, and more.
The shop owers were so touched, they gave me a limited hide holographic card and bowed. xD I'm currently in college, and I have draw him a few
times. For photoshop I needed to make a Time "Man of the Year" cover, and I choose hide~
When feeling down, some of his songs help, since
it seems he was often in the same place, even though I don't believe his death was suicide.
He means a lot to me personally, and he's definately not forgotten. I listen to is music daily, I got a pink ipod the color of his hair,
and so on~ |
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Kaori |
Stay Free My Misery
Pink font, of course, is only appropriate for the subject of this essay
of sorts as I call it. Apparently there is a contest where the winners
are randomly selected where the entries are meant to show how hideto
Matsumoto has influenced “you.” When I first saw that this
was in existence I was thrilled. I’m not sure why exactly but
lately I have been writing quiet often when I had something on my mind
and I really want to put those things to good use. May 2nd, 2008 was
the ten year anniversary of hide’s death. Waiting for the date
I wasn’t sure if I should be happy that he lived or mourn his
death. I did both. From the short three to four years that I’ve
known about hide I believe that he wouldn’t want us all to be
mourning over him. YOSHIKI himself has been asked (several times) what
he believes hide thinks of X JAPAN’s return and replied that he
thinks that hide is proud. I agree fully and on May 2nd I did mourn
for his death, but I also celebrated his life, his music, and everything
that he was and still is, and what he’s done for me in my life
so far. I’m not here to state what I feel is right or wrong concerning
his passing, or to put words into his mouth, or put thoughts into his
brain. I am here to try and express in words the things that this man
has inspired me to do, be, and what he has helped me through. If you
are reading this I apologize, it’s not the most regular essay
and I m not very good with words so please bear with me.
I am not entirely sure where I should start, so I guess it’s best
to start from the beginning. I was in my sixth or seventh grade when JRock
was injected into my life. This was one of the darkest times of my life,
and a time I was about ready to give it up. I hear from some places that
most teenage suicides occur in High School years, but it seemed like I heard
more about it then than I am now and I’m at the end of my sophomore
year of High School. Every night, as I would lie in bed trying to fall asleep
I would sit up and cry. Not crying myself to sleep, I had long past that
ability, but just crying because I didn’t know how to do anything
else. Every night I would think “Why am I still here? Is there really
a point to my life? Everyone would be happier if I were gone.” I knew
that my parents would be upset, but there were even nights when I questioned
if they would cry or not. I don’t come from a broken family or a dysfunctional
family at all really, but like a lot of youth I still am not understood
by them and I was pushed to the limit. It was shortly after my second or
third night of thinking of ending it all when I was forever tainted. The
history and background of how a friend of a friend gave us a name to look
up and then how everything exploded from there isn’t entirely important
at the moment so to make a long story short: my life was forever changed
just at the right time. When I write things like this, I always think I’m
exaggerating, but then I remember the notebooks and everything else I had
at the time that kept my secrets.
When X JAPAN, hide, and the others entered my life, I was given a reason
to live. I knew that no matter what it took, I would somehow have a career
that involved this music. I was determined to spread this to others and
maybe even save lives the way it had mine. I knew that if I could ever do
anything give back to these gods, it would all be well worth it. My life
isn’t the only that I owe to hide and the others. He has helped to
inspire everything that I am; my personality, my thoughts, my style, my
beliefs, and just about everything else that makes me who I am. I will fully
admit that hide is not the only one that has done all of this and more,
but he is one of the more prominent ones who has. Every night, I pray to
hide and the others that are with him where ever they are. I can’t
bring myself to pray to some religions “God” but I can pray
to what I know is real. I believe that he is somewhere else, as well as
still among us. This thought keeps me alive and helps me cope with the death
of those around me. Knowing that a person like hideto was alive and being
able to believe that no matter where he is he is somewhere keeps me sane.
Throughout my room I have two posters with hide on them, two pictures printed
out of hide, a shirt with him on it, and three plush dolls (soon to increase
in number). He is the only one seen that often in my room.
The title of this is “Stay Free My Misery” which is a quote
from his song “MISERY.” This single line has become a quote
for me to live the way I want and not let anything bring me down. To keep
this from becoming too long and to keep myself from repeating ideas over
again I will try to finish up here soon. Matsumoto hideto has given me courage
when I’ve needed it most. He has given me joy when I wanted to cry
and made me cry and laugh at the exact same time. He’s given the color
pink a whole new respect from me, and he has made me who I am today. I cannot
begin to imagine where I would be today if hide had never entered my life,
nor can I imagine what life would have been like if I had known about him
when he was still alive. I know that he hasn’t inspired me “more” than
everyone else, but then again who has? That is something that cannot be
measured by anyone other than your own self. I do know that I can almost
guarantee that my life has been saved and changed by nothing more and nothing
less than hideto Matsumoto, now and forever more. |
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J - Taiyo |
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wei rong,17
(singaporean) |
i was introduced to x japan two years back by
my brother, whom he saw in wikipedia. he showed me the youtube video of x
japan's "endless rain". In the past, i do not liked rock, metal
and any other stuff. i termed them "noisy" and very "crazy".
the first time when i watched their video, i was actually quite scared =p,
because i think they looked very "scary". but however, their
song was really great.
i began searching for their pv's in youtube. soon, i became addicted to their
music...and i was attracted to a particular member in x japan, that is, hide.
he looked very professional in all the pvs, and was attracted by the every
guitar solos on each and every song of x japan. hide's visual aesthetics,
guitar skill, and antics on stage can made me go wild. and overtime, i began
to realize that in fact, rock music has it's own artistic value, way different
from mainstream music.
i began to listen to hide's and x japan's songs regularly, till this day. their
songs always accompany me in times of loneliness, sadness. i'm known to be
a obscure person in school, in life and i no one to talk to in school,and at
home. but everytime i listen to x japan songs, i can feel that they are telling
me "we are always here for you.", and this made me better. i then
made this wish for myself, to learn guitar and perform with x japan, with hide.
little did i know that hide had actually died in 1998. i remembered that i
cried, when i saw the video footage of hide's funeral, of why such
a inspiring artist, musician would leave this world.
but however, my dream of learning guitar was being deferred, mostly due
to having major exams, and i don't have money to get a guitar. However,
this dream of mine is still burning, for two years...
Now, i'm in a tertiary institute, and i have sign up for their guitar classes.
i hoped i can get in, and fulfill my dream i made two years ago. now,
i have another dream: i want to be a musician, to enjoy music, just like x
japan, just like hide.
To sum it up: hide is not my idol, he is my god. he gave me things that people
did not: music and love.
To hide: may i see you someday in heaven when i die. |
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Yordi Visser (Netherlands) |
My name is Yordi Visser, Im from Holland and Im 18 years
old.
Im a fan of X Japan since I was 15, I still remember the date: 17 March,
2005
It wasnt only the day I first heard my favorite band, but it was also a
life-changeing moment.
I first saw hide in the video of "X Japan - X (The Last Live)"
and I simply fell in love with him.
(A sidenote: I am straight, but the one guy I fell in love with is hide.)
Furthermore, I play music myself and I was just blown away by his amazing
skill on not only the guitar
but also on other instruments and his great voice.
About a day after I first heard X, I started looking for info on the members
and more of their music.
The first song I found was hide's Misery, this song has helped me so many
times when I had a hard time
or when things where going bad in my life.
after that, I started exploring more of their music, I bought all the albums
and dvd's I could find.
Some people call me obsessed, but music is just a huge part of my life
and especially X Japan and hide.
My dream has been since that day to see hide live in concert though I know
this could never happen.
I like to think hide lives on through his music and through the music people
make for him.
Im sorry I cant wright more, but my feelings for hide can't be expressed
with words.
Bu there isnt a day in my life that I don't miss him.
What I can say is that in January Im getting "hide" tattooed in
my wrist :)
I also have a X Japan tattoo:
I hope you get a lot of reactions of hide's fans all over the world!
We are X!!!
~Yordi Visser |
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Flip |
Essay on what it is to inspire.
Hideto Matsumoto, a legend, a hero, an aritst. Most instantaneously
say these things, but not me.
For me, he was more than a legend or a hero, he was an inspiration, and
more importantly, he was apart of my childhood. Back in 1995, my fathers
friend had gone on a trip to Japan, and brought back some music, he played
two songs, and I was hooked. I asked, Who is this? and he say X JAPAN. I
was in love, and though not until the early 2000's did I learn about their
history, due to the expansion of the world wide web, I loved every second
of their music.
He showed me pictures, and instantly my eyes went to this fluffy pink
headed person in the oddest clothing I had ever seen. I pointed to them,
Who is that?
Thats hide,[hee day] the Guitarist. I smiled, and said, I like him.
I know for a child to love someone merely cause of their look, but I
was 5, and I would not know till I was 7, how amazing this man was. At 7
I heard his solo works, starting with HIDE YOUR FACE album. I loved it and
had the album on replay. I grew more, and then, sadly, not even a
year later, I was watching the news with my grandfather when a small 15
second mention of the death of a Japanese rock musician, Hideto Matsumoto,
aired.
I cried, no one knew why, they kept asking, why are you crying why are
you crying? All I could do was point to the tv, which had now moved on to
another more "important" story.
I hardly spoke for almost a year, not till I discovered another band
that would be a major influence in my life did I start running and smiling
again. That band was Dir en grey, but that...thats a story for another time.
When I was little, I would smile, I would laugh, and I would hum along
to the melodies of this mans work.
He helped carve my childhood.
But when I got older reaching 10 , did I come to terms with what had
happened, and take it to heart, and use his memory to drive my artistic
ambitions. At this age, I began to understand why he did what he did, and
who he really was. He was a man, who was who ever he wanted to be, a man
who took the worse , and made it sound happy, he inspired.
He was ..inspiration. He had drove my childhood, and he began to fuel
my life as a young teen. I began to see, I should not be afraid of who I
was, That I should not be afraid to act myself. And although it took another
musician, Miyavi, to help enforce that, he started me on that road.
He drove me to create, to be, to live, and to inspire others.
Now nearly 18 years old, I live for him, each day, I try my hardest,
and smile my best, for him.
How many heros do you encounter in your life? Chances are many.
But how many inspirations do you encounter? Only one can truly be the
root of inspiration in your life.
And hide, is that one for me.
So from this man, I learned.
To smile.
To laugh.
To love.
To be.
To create.
And to Inspire.
I thank him, each day, for all he has done, and will continue to do for
me. |
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Johnathan Ogden (UK) |
here is a picture of me paying in my band, most of the
music i have wrote for it have been inspired by hide's solo work and X Japan
mainly but unfortionatly i do not have any recordings of the songs
also included is a memorial picture i made for hide.

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Adam Clark (secretlybateman) |
Hey I'm 'secretlybateman' in the forum...but my name is Adam :)
First I'd would like to say, along with nearly everyone else, I would've loved to be in Japan for the hide Memorial Summit
with all those awesome bands and many thousands of fans paying tribute. But I guess it's not to be.
The picture, or rather 'fan art', I drew to give to whoever when I went on the JRR International eXperience tour thing,
but apparently Yoshiki was supposed to come to our reception but he was still doing rehearsal or something, so I still have it. Although I can still say that was the best experience of my life.. so far hehe. By the way I don't like drawing in pen or whatever, thats why its soo light.
I have also included a picture of me...sortof, at the Night of Destruction concert...I'm the one in the white circle :)...as you can see we got some
pretty incredible seats.
Other than that drawing, there isn't much that I have done in memorial of hide, although since he is still so incredibly popular,
in terms of his music, influence in music and overall person after soo many years, it does not feel like all of him has left this world.
Even though I may not be in a band... or able to play an instrument well, I have started to learn to play guitar, and am certain that if I am
one day good enough, that any songs I write will be influenced heavily by all Jrock artists, X Japan and hide inparticular.
I am only 18 at the moment, and so, as of the age of 7, when hide died, I had no concept of the effect this had on thousands of people
and many times more fans, and when I did know of X Japan I was 13y.o. and that had already been broken up for 6 years. I always
feel odd when talking about X Japan because I never really knew how they were as a complete band, and even though X Japan lives on with various other guitarists and of course we all love the hologram hide, it still reminds us of an awesome musician attached to a wonderful personality, whose life was tragically cut short soo many years ago.
And in the words of the beautiful song recently showcased at Night of Destruction, Madness and Creation;
'I feel alone
Now I embrace even words which hurt each other
And I only look back
I feel alone...'
...we all feel alone...
'...Without you.' |
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Spencer |
Hide~~~ your soul will always be with X JAPAN
and in the hearts of everybody~~~
As Toshi say during the concert 2008, You will be walking together with
X Japan and ALL THE FANS WILL WALK WITH XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!
X JAPAN!!!!!!!!
Spencer
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 click the picture for the animated original... |
Chris |
:P Dunno if it really counts but i started playing guitar
because of hide...
...Also learned parts of some X Japan songs before I got too lazy... lol
..Still need to Finish Kurenai...and X....
...probably should finish Silent Jealousy also. | |